“Hot for Teacher” is a song by the American rock band Van Halen, taken from their sixth studio album, 1984. The song was written by band members Eddie Van Halen, Alex Van Halen, Michael Anthony and David Lee Roth, and produced by Ted Templeman. It was released as the fourth and final single from the album in October 1984. It was the final single released by Van Halen’s original lineup.
The song features Alex Van Halen‘s double bass drum performance, and its music video, featuring the band as both adults and young students. Alex Van Halen used four bass drums at the beginning of the song to create the sound of a motorcycle idling. The ending of this song comes from a studio outtake from the band’s club days, entitled “Voodoo Queen”. The Parents Music Resource Center protested the song due to its sexually suggestive lyrics and music video.
The music video (directed by Pete Angelus and David Lee Roth, and produced by Jerry Kramer and Glenn Goodwin, choreographed by Vincent Paterson with concept/treatment by Anthony Nasch) was filmed at John Marshall High School, with Phil Hartman performing the voice of Waldo, the video’s protagonist. Waldo, an awkward boy with large glasses and a bow tie, is put on the school bus by his over-protective mother. He is terrified by the unruly kids on the bus; the driver played by David Lee Roth, tells him “siddown, Waldo!” as the opening riff begins. Along with Waldo, the “kid versions” of Van Halen face the trials and tribulations of grade school. Two models appear as teachers in the video, Donna Rupert (runner up in the 1981 Miss Canada pageant), who plays the chemistry teacher, and Lillian Müller, who plays the Phys Ed teacher. Both teachers tear off their dresses to reveal a bikini, to the cheers of the students. At the end of the video, the kids are shown to have grown up to become a gynecologist (Alex Van Halen), a sumo wrestler (Michael Anthony), a psychiatric hospital patient (Eddie Van Halen), and a game show host (David Lee Roth). While it is said that no one was sure what Waldo grew up to be, the video hints at him becoming a pimp, the total opposite of his child self. This is intercut with scenes with the band members dressed in red suits and dancing to the song under a disco ball. Initial controversy arose when the video showed all the band members performing a quick crotch-grab during the “…so bad…” part of the chorus; at first, the ’80s NBC late-night show Friday Night Videos black-box censored the crotch-grabs but eventually relented and removed the black-box from their video.
In popular culture
- The character Sheldon Cooper in the TV show Young Sheldon recalls having played this song in a video game (presumably Guitar Hero World Tour or Guitar Hero Van Halen), in the eighth episode of the second season.
- The song appears in the 1999 film Varsity Blues. 
- The song appears in Guitar Hero World Tour and Guitar Hero Van Halen as one of the most difficult songs on the setlists. In an advertisement for play testers for future Guitar Hero games, released by Neversoft in 2008, “Hot For Teacher” was one of four songs applicants had to be capable of playing to receive the job.